Today I will briefly discuss three steps to be able to understand that special someone in your life without asking them any questions.

1. Family: Watch their mannerisms with their family members. What is their relationship with the parents? Are they respectful to their mother and father? Do they have a good relationship with their siblings. How do their siblings behave around guests and even family? The reason these observations are key is to tell you how your partner acts when you are not present. The actions of their siblings will tell you more about your partner’s character because we all have family characteristics that run through our personalities. Their relationship with their parents will tell you how they treat other people-whether it is with deference and respect or with rudeness and contempt. And finally, watch the characteristics of their parents as well-it will show you what road your partner will be taking in the next couple of years because we tend to fall into the same habits as our parents.

2. Friends: Friends are very important in determining who your partner is. Who

do they hang around with? What do they like to talk about? Do they discuss maturely or do they spend time drinking/cussing and reveling in parties day to day or are they more balanced? Do they have good stable professional lives? Are they social? What are their opinions on key issues? For instance, the closest 5 friends of your partner will tell you who feeds into their personality and their opinions on a day to day basis. I can guarantee that if you combine 5 personality traits from 5 different influential friends in your partner’s life you will find out that these are key traits in your partner’s life as well.

3. Challenges: The final aspect you should pay attention to is how they deal with challenges. This is important because it will show you how they will manage issues years down the line if you do decide to stick it out with this person for life. Do they push you away or draw you closer? Are they more closeted or more open? Are they more confused or more determined? These traits are important because you also need to decide if this person will be able to manage and partner with you as you journey through life's unexpected surprises.

The aim of this exercise is to save you the time, effort and energy of spending your precious resources: your emotions, your devotion-somewhere you will most likely or least likely get a return. If you write down traits combined from these three observations I guarantee you will be looking at the personality traits of the man/woman you have decided to settle with unless or until they decide to change their personality if necessary.