PROSE: DIVORCE WAS HER ONLY OPTION

She stared into the distance as thoughts gathered and scattered-contemplating her existence. She questioned each and every moment she had allowed to lead up to this particular tangent. She was quiet but she was also sure-she was scared but she could not pretend anymore. Why was there so much confusion in a clear picture? Why could she not see past the pain to encourage her to make that final decision?
She knew what she had to do but she could not find the courage to face the prescription. She could not find the words to convey her position-she was not sure how to say she could not stay anymore-she could not remain a friend and pretend to be a companion.
She twirled her ring around weighing the gravity of her decision. She pondered loudly on the cost it will have on her children-the decision to move away from this conversation. To not pretend like he cared anymore, to stop ignoring the scents of deception. She touched her face lightly remembering the times he had decorated her features with his position. She twitched in pain as she remembered that encounter that had thrown her into this decision.
Her children had watched and kept silent as she tried to explain daddy’s situation. She was not sure why she had allowed them to witness such a display of affection. Her son may decide that was how love was expressed instead of lies etched on her features. Her daughter-at this point-she smiled quietly as she remembered her eyes goggled widely with fear and anxiety. Her daughter may be raised into a situation where she believes men show love through fists of affection-she could not stand by and allow those thoughts of demonic desperation take root in her future seeds of salvation. So she kept still and sighed-trying so hard not to cry. Trying to remember when his words where not a lie; trying to remember the laughter she once experienced by looking into his eyes. She struggled because she could not see past the lies-she could remember the wedding day so clearly it brought tears to her eyes. She had seen a hint of anger before she testified that she would love and protect him till she died-before she took her marriage vows she knew she was walking into a path littered with lies. But he had also sworn to protect her and she winced as she remembered he had lied.
But he was so good at conveying his sorrow after each blow that left her mesmerized-trying to reconcile the man that showered her with affection with this monster that seemed to use only his fists for communication. She had tried-and she agreed to marry him in the presence of his lies; she had taken her vows with witnesses surrounding her silently warning her to turn away from this man. But she had loved him and went ahead with the vows. Now she was not sure anymore about her decision-she twirled that ring around-looking through the pictures-memories captured of laughter that only showed an illusion.
She had to protect her children from his deception-before he polluted their future aspirations. So she decided there and then-divorce was her only option.
But with that decision came a silent release of anxiety-she could finally feel life coursing through her being-rather than the silent palpitations of a heart beat that remained unsure of how his fists would decorate her reality. She could hear the whisper of society-already words forming of how she should have stayed married-who would date a woman carrying another man’s seeds in her daily activities? But she didn’t care; someone somewhere would recognize her for who she truly was and her children were the center of her core-she carried more than what her husband had decided would be her all. The weight of her decision made her blink in contemplation-it would mean she would have to face financial adjustments and societal embarrassment but what other choice was there?
To be buried in the place of her frustration? Leaving her children to be cast as the wind pleases in any direction?
No-her life was worth more-she would make the adjustments and move silently as she planned alternate arrangements-the strength of her decision lay a pathway for action as she grew more certain of her situation-divorce was her only option but it was also the door to a future filled with life instead of decorated with death in every blow he used to mark her face with his frustration.

….
Have you ever been/are you currently in this situation? How did you find the strength to move forward?

Share your thoughts below!

(First published: Bella Naija)

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I Fought Her To Find You

SPIRITUALITY SERIES: DAVID AND THE FIVE STONES

1 Samuel 17:38-51 (NIV):
38 Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. 39 David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them.
“I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul, “because I am not used to them.” So he took them off. 40 Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine.
41 Meanwhile, the Philistine, with his shield bearer in front of him, kept coming closer to David. 42 He looked David over and saw that he was little more than a boy, glowing with health and handsome, and he despised him. 43 He said to David, “Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?” And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. 44 “Come here,” he said, “and I’ll give your flesh to the birds and the wild animals!”
45 David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.
46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. 47 All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”
48 As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him. 49 Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.
50 So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him.
51 David ran and stood over him. He took hold of the Philistine’s sword and drew it from the sheath. After he killed him, he cut off his head with the sword.
When the Philistines saw that their hero was dead, they turned and ran.

Today’s teaching is based on the the five stones. What are the five stones? In the passage of scripture quoted above, we see the setting for David to face Goliath.
This teaching will enable those entering a battle to understand that it is won in the spirit before it is won in the flesh.

1.    Attire: The first step is to consider what are you wearing? Saul who was the King dressed David in his own tunic-this shows no matter how important that person is or whatever level of accomplishment they carry, their tunic is not for you. What worked for them will not necessarily work for you. Man’s protection is not enough to face the battles you will encounter in life. Saul gave David the best attire-his royal attire-to face a battle-so don’t put your trust in whatever form of protection no matter the quality or the quantity man gives you-our protection comes from the living God. (Psalm 118:18).Not from man. David tried walking around in the attire because he was not used to them-he tried walking-he did not even try fighting. And there was already resistance-some of us walk in the wrong garments-and as a result, we are uncomfortable. Have you ever tried on clothes that don’t quite fit? They are uncomfortable. The same way if you dress yourselves in other people’s opinions, recommendations, words-you will be uncomfortable.
 So what attire do you have on-it may be your issue with this particular battle is simply based on what you have on-that makes you try but remain unsuccessful. David tried walking-are you finding it difficult to even partake in menial activities? Are you facing resistance from the most basic things/ objects? It could simply be you have on the wrong attire-our attire comes from the Word of God as believers (Ephesians 6:14-18).
David took off the attire-you need to take it off. Take off what you have on that is contrary to God’s direction-God told Moses to take off his sandals because he was on holy ground. For a battle to be won, God needs your complete obedience-so take it off.
If you don’t take it off, you won’t be able to move forward.

2.    Identity: David said he was not used to Saul’s attire. So what attire are you used to? Are you used to the attire of other people’s opinions? are you insecure about your own identity? Or are you confident in who you are in Christ?
This is importance-confidence comes from God-rest in your identity in Him.
David rested in his identity-he took up his staff. Some of us run away from our identity. God has placed what you need in your hands. It could be singing, dancing, drawing, speaking, writing. It is in your hands-you don’t need royal attire ie money, adverts, attention, fame. No. it is in your hands. All that you need He has given unto you.

3.    Choice: David took his staff in his hand and then he was able to choose five smooth stones.
This is the crux of today’s teaching-the five smooth stones where chosen. To choose is to set apart. You will not be able to receive revelation about your situation until you have set yourself apart in your identity as a child of God. David set himself apart before he was able to choose the stones. He refused to succumb to Saul’s authority but stood in the confidence of his identity hence he was able to receive revelation about the stones. And this was a revelation because they were smooth. This means there was ease. When you walk with God and obey His commands, there is ease. There is clarity-as the stones were chosen from the stream. God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. How else was David able to chose five smooth stones from a stream? No one advised him-it came from his identity. This is why it is important to embrace your identity in Christ.

4.    Protect the revelation: David put the stones in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag. This means he protected the stones-he placed them away. Have you protected the revelation you received from God? Or do you leave it exposed and unattended? This is super important. Protect the anointing. Protect the revelation-from people, back biters, places-protect it in your identity in Him-this is why David placed the stones in the shepherd’s bag. And David was a shepherd. That revelation is for you and you alone.
David then advanced-because now he has received confidence in his identity, he has received revelation and he has protected it-notice that these are all a range of actions no words. This is because faith without deeds is dead. Your faith needs to be produced in your actions. David moved with his sling in his hand as he approached the enemy.

5.    Posture: David’s posture shows he was ready for battle. His posture is confident and certain-he was not afraid by the magnitude of the problem. Don’t be intimidated by that complex situation-don’t be intimidated by your Goliath-separate yourself in Christ so you can discern the voice of God speaking in that situation.
David had a posture of courage not fear-do not be afraid for I am with you.

6.    Intimidation:  Don’t be intimidated by the enemy-we fight from a position of victory! And you Goliath will intimidate you-that job will intimidate you; those grades, that rent will intimidate you. Your finances will intimidate you. But you should not be intimidated.
Goliath tried to intimidate David by concentrating on the flesh-notice Goliath used examples in the flesh while David responded in the spirit!

7.    Distraction: The shield bearer was in front of Goliath; a shield bearer was a lightly armored soldier who protected another solider with a protective shield.
The shield bearer was a distraction. Don’t be distracted by the shield bearer in your situation-this is usually the easy way out-the idea that seems to provide a solution to the problem but does not even deal with the problem at all.
The shield bearer’s job is to protect the problem not to destroy it. You may have found an option that seems logical in dealing with your finances/rent/grades-don’t follow it. It is a distraction-it does not attend to the problem. An example is for instance you may decide it is better to cheat than to fail in that exam. How does that solve the core problem of failing to revise and being diligent in your studies? It doesn’t-soon that issue will manifest again in an even bigger way through expulsion or even when you start working and fail to meet project deadlines. or maybe you are dating someone and notice particular red flags and choose to ignore them-it will manifest even more grossly in marriage-because that is what Goliath does-it magnifies the situation-hence you need to kill Goliath.
 
8.    Victory: There is victory in your response to your situation when you rely on the Word of God. David responded to Goliath’s fleshy threats in the spirit! He called on the name of God and declared that the battle belongs to God. He prophesied victory! Prophesy victory into your situation! Speak against defeat! David said he will strike down Goliath and cut off his head as a testimony to the strength of our God. And that is exactly what he did-when you put your trust in God-He will come through for you.

9.    The Battle: Goliath moved to attack David and David in confidence ran to meet him-he was not intimidated as you shouldn’t be intimidated either. He reached into his bag-he held unto the revelation he had received-and he struck Goliath in the forehead-that is the power of the anointing. It does not make sense in the flesh but it is powerful in the spirit-and so it succeeds. A giant was struck dead with a stone. Hence it does not matter the size of your problem you have a bigger God. David did not need a sword and he went into battle-all you need is God. And you will succeed. Also this was a giant-in the logical sense you would think it would take some time before it were to succeed against him-but he was dead before the battle starts. That is how God moves. It is a supernatural response. Things don’t work according to man’s timing-hence you need to trust His Word and follow His direction in that situation. It is not our battle-it belongs to God.

10.The Sword of the Spirit: David cut off Goliath’s head. It is important to realize, after you have defeated that Goliath-cut off its head. How? We have the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God-declare the Word over that situation-David used a sword to cut off Goliath’s head-use the Word of God to cut off all contacts and connections with that giant in your life-declare the Word of God over that situation so you can eliminate any future threats from that particular angle. The Word of God is our Sword and we need to speak it for it to happen in our lives. And when your enemies see how God has moved in your life-they will run. This is why the Word says, they will gather one way and scatter in seven.

These are some foundational spiritual principles to enable you defeat the enemy you are facing.
I hope this Word blessed you!

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GODLY RELATIONSHIPS: APPRECIATION AND AFFECTION

Hey Guys! Welcome to another part of the Godly Relationships series. I have done two previous sessions on this-you can access the last one by clicking here!
My teaching on this topic through the passage of Ruth has been completely unintentional but I just go as the Spirit leads! This is the final installment for Ruth 2 on Godly Relationships-its so amazing how much the Word of God can speak into any situation and I’m excited to culminate this passage here with you guys-lets begin!
(In order to get a good grasp of the principles I will be explaining here I encourage you to read at least the last installment by following the link above.)

Ruth 2:13-23 (NIV):
13 “May I continue to find favor in your eyes, my lord,” she said. “You have put me at ease by speaking kindly to your servant—though I do not have the standing of one of your servants.”
14 At mealtime Boaz said to her, “Come over here. Have some bread and dip it in the wine vinegar.”
When she sat down with the harvesters, he offered her some roasted grain. She ate all she wanted and had some left over. 15 As she got up to glean, Boaz gave orders to his men, “Let her gather among the sheaves and don’t reprimand her. 16 Even pull out some stalks for her from the bundles and leave them for her to pick up, and don’t rebuke her.”
17 So Ruth gleaned in the field until evening. Then she threshed the barley she had gathered, and it amounted to about an ephah.[a] 18 She carried it back to town, and her mother-in-law saw how much she had gathered. Ruth also brought out and gave her what she had left over after she had eaten enough.
19 Her mother-in-law asked her, “Where did you glean today? Where did you work? Blessed be the man who took notice of you!”
Then Ruth told her mother-in-law about the one at whose place she had been working. “The name of the man I worked with today is Boaz,” she said.
20 “The Lord bless him!” Naomi said to her daughter-in-law. “He has not stopped showing his kindness to the living and the dead.” She added, “That man is our close relative; he is one of our guardian-redeemers.[b]”
21 Then Ruth the Moabite said, “He even said to me, ‘Stay with my workers until they finish harvesting all my grain.’”
22 Naomi said to Ruth her daughter-in-law, “It will be good for you, my daughter, to go with the women who work for him, because in someone else’s field you might be harmed.”
23 So Ruth stayed close to the women of Boaz to glean until the barley and wheat harvests were finished. And she lived with her mother-in-law.


1.             APPRECIATION:  It is so important in your relationships with people-family, friends, and so on that you show appreciation. Ruth showed appreciation to Boaz. She spoke from a position of appreciation of his kindness towards her and she embodied humility-she recognized that she did not deserve his kindness because she did not have the standing of his servants. When you walk with the LORD, He puts you in a position where you feel undeserving of favor-but it is key to show appreciation and to remain humble.

2.               INVITATION: Appreciation opens the way to an invitation. Boaz invited Ruth to come and eat with him. Hence when you show appreciation to those around you-it will open the way for an invitation to build a more solid connection. Ruth ate all she wanted and even had leftovers-and this started with her display of appreciation. This is why appreciation is key. It adds to your communicative capacity with that person. Boaz unbeknownst to Ruth also provided protection. He told his men not only to not disturb her but to even help her. This is what happens when you begin to move in accordance with the LORD’s will for your life, He places you in relationships where you are not only provided for but you are protected-and sometimes it happens without your knowledge as in the case of Ruth. Her path was made much easier because of her attitude of obedience and loyalty. Notice that after Ruth responded to Boaz’s invitation to sit and eat-she was offered even more and as she got up to glean-she was once again offered even more this time without her knowledge. There are different stages of protection and reception that come with an obedient response. Each time Ruth took a step forward in responsive obedience, another door opened for her. It is important that you respond to your relationships. Respond to communication between your family and friends and loved ones in general it opens up more avenues for reception and builds a deeper connection between you both. Boaz built a deeper connection with Ruth through his attitude-she sat with him to eat. A far cry from working on his field-hence there are steps and stages to relationships that all come at the end of the day from appreciation and reception.

3.               MANIPULATION: Ruth worked until evening-she did not take advantage of the situation. She did not manipulate Boaz’s intention-she worked. A lot of us take advantage of our relationships-we manipulate the kindness of others, we take advantage of their love and their honesty towards us-and all this does is to block the connection. Ruth worked after she had received Boaz’s blessing. Are you working towards returning that loan from your parents? Are you taking advantage of the love and understanding your partner has extended you? This ruins the relationship. But notice Ruth’s disposition-she was active in the field until evening-she was not lazy because of Boaz’s words. She kept working and carried the fruits of her labor back to town.

4.               ACTIONS: It’s important to notice she showed both the barley she gathered and the leftovers to Naomi. Actions speak louder than words. Ruth demonstrated her commitment to her mother in law through her actions. She held nothing back. What are you holding back from that relationship? What are you hiding from your partner? Naomi asked Ruth some questions which she readily answered-are you responsive to your parents/friends/loved ones questions? What remains hidden in your relationship? Then it is not built on honesty and if it is not built on honesty it cannot function properly! Ruth was honest with Naomi because they shared a bond built on trust and loyalty. Don’t infect the bond with your family/partner those that are close to you with lies-tell the truth.

5.               REVELATION: Truth gives room to receive revelation. Naomi was able to share more information with Ruth about Boaz’s history. You never know what that information you are hiding from your loved ones can reveal in your life. Ruth learned about Boaz’s character because of her honesty. When you walk in truth-the information you seek will come to you. Ruth walked in truth and honesty and she learned more about Boaz and his history.

6.               INSIGHT: Ruth was able to receive insight about her relationship with Boaz through Naomi-all because of her honesty. And this also made their connection stronger. Naomi warned Ruth that she might be harmed in another’s field. It’s interesting that Boaz had warned his men not to harm Ruth as well. Notice the pattern in their conversation-it has the arrangement of ensuring Ruth’s best interest. This should be the recurring thread in all your relationships. Is there anyone in your life that doesn’t act like they have your best interests? Then you are allowing a discord to function in your life. Everyone around you should have your best interest at heart.

7.               AFFECTION: Naomi cared for Ruth as did Boaz hence they both responded to her with kindness and affection. Who is not showing you kindness? Listen to actions not words. This will show you how they feel about you.Ruth was also affected by Boaz and Naomi’s presence in her life. you are affected by each and every person you allow into your life-so be careful who you let in.For instance, Ruth was affected at work by Boaz as she stayed closed to his women and she was affected at home by Naomi as she lived with her. Your friendships and relationships in general should protect you and not expose you.

Ask yourself the simple question: who is protecting you and who is leaving you exposed?
 

The aim of this breakdown is to enable you to understand the power in relationships and the value they add to your life and your daily decisions. Choose wisely.

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DESTINY CONNECTIONS

Hey Guys! This week I will be tackling “destiny connections.” Destiny connections are relationships that push your life forward instead of pulling it back. For today, I will discuss how to identify destiny connections in your life.

1. Connections:  This seems obvious right? But lets think about this-who are you connected to? Who has influence over your life-your parents/siblings/friends? You need to identify the particular niche of influence that this person controls in your daily decisions and actions. For instance, your parents may control your economic situation; your friends may carry influence on your social environment or surroundings and your siblings may even carry influence in both or more areas or none at all. When you start to look at these people in your life-you will notice you gravitate towards certain people for certain areas of conflict you experience. and you will be able to access the impact they have had on those areas whether positively or negatively.

2. The power of influence: This is where influence comes in. This person in question carries a weight of influence on your friendships, life opportunities, and challenges. This is why it is important to determine the value they add to your life. Do they advise you positively-ie do they encourage you to follow your dreams through realistic steps or has there been a pattern of bad decisions produced in the wake of their “words of wisdom”. For instance, have you ever noticed in the course of your academics if you hung out with those that were unserious your grades plummet but if you hang out with the seriously minded students your grades are elevated? It’s the same in life-if you hang around those that lack ambition-it will influence your future prospects. But if you hang around those that are determined to succeed-it pushes you into destiny.

 
3. Strategy: Another key way to identify destiny connections is to evaluate the strategies they have employed in the past. How have their past decisions affected your present perspective? Has it made you regret certain decisions? Has it cost you valuable friendships/time? Or have they added wisdom to your steps? Have they led you to the right places/people? What has been the strategic overview they have had on your life. The reason this is important is it would enable you to establish a pattern of success or failure so you can remedy the core of the problem in that area in your life. This will enable you to decide where and when this person has made an impact on your choices and how those choices have incrementally influenced your perspective in life.

These are just 3 easy steps to identify destiny connections in your life. The aim is to enable you to move forward and to eliminate and elevate relationships in your sphere of influence appropriately.

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Have a lovely day!

God Bless,

Tolu.