1. You Constantly Feel Unease: Our body’s respond to our thoughts. Let me
paint you a quick picture: imagine you are in a dark unfamiliar room-the
natural response would be unease. Now imagine that dark room is your
relationship-this is the reason for your unease-your body is responding to your
mental state. When your relationship begins to make you anxious and
unhappy, it changes the environment of your surroundings-it literally seeps the
joy from moments that should be filled with peace. You find it harder to laugh;
to live in the moment and to learn to absorb life’s little treasures-because
that feeling of unease is rooted in the environment surrounding your
relationship.
2. You Lack Clarity Concerning The
Direction The Relationship Is Facing: This is another sign your
relationship is making you anxious and unhappy. To be anxious is to be worried.
Once more let’s use an illustration-have you ever gotten lost while driving
somewhere you were sure you had the correct co-ordinates to? When this
happens-do you suddenly start to lose direction-like you can no longer trust
the coordinates on the GPS? Now imagine the GPS is the relationship when it
started, and the lost co-ordination is the relationship where it is now. This creates
a lack of clarity-there is no longer unity in language and in direction between
you and your partner this is why you feel anxious and unhappy-because the
relationship is no longer clear.
3. Death To The 3 C’s-My 3 C’s
in relationships are consistency, communication and contact. There’s a 4th
C but let’s concentrate on these 3-when either/or/all is missing-I can
guarantee your relationship will reek with anxiety. Do you know why? Imagine your
relationship is a plant: these are the 3 essential nutrients it needs from both parties to thrive. If you and
your partner have slowly and steadily declined in contact with one another, I can
also guarantee that this has affected the consistency in the times you see one
another and furthermore it has infected the amount of times you communicate
with one another-this leads to unhappiness/anxiety in your relationship. Do you
know why? Because you have changed the climate surrounding your relationship.
4. You Have No Emotional Freedom: Let me
break this down simply-you feel like you are in a mental prison and you have no
idea where the way out is. This is what happens when you become emotionally
stuck. You know your relationship is no longer moving forward but you lack the
desire to see it fall apart-this creates a mental prison-and once more your
body reacts. You may experience bouts of unhappiness and anxiety-you may even
feel scared and it begins to affect how you communicate with your partner and
removes slowly but surely the trust in the relationship. This is because
relationships are supposed to make you feel free-not like a prisoner in your
own body. If this is what is now happening-then this is a sure sign your
relationship is making you anxious.
5. You Can No Longer Confidently See
Him/Her In Your Future: Finally-can you see him/her in your future? Ask
your partner where they see you both in the next 3 years-notice the tone of
their response, watch their features-it will show you a lot about how they view
your role in the relationship. Usually at this stage both parties are
struggling to commit long term to the relationship and hence it affects the
ability to comfortably see the partner in his/her future-which means you have
begun to place them in the past. And whatever makes us anxious/unhappy-we want
to place it in the past. Hence if you can no longer see them in your future
clearly and confidently, if their role in your future remains foggy at this
present moment, then it is clear the relationship is causing you
anxiety/unease.
How about you? What causes you anxiety in your
relationships?
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