K’s
story is truly inspiring and one of overcoming challenges to find her first love-Christ. It is a story of true love and how He finds us even when we lose ourselves. Enjoy!
1.
What's your love story/history?
My love story begins with the Lord Himself. I truly believe that any love story needs to start with the originator of love itself and that is the Lord. Without the Lord you will not have a true love story – His love story is beautiful and perfect in every way!
I am currently in waiting for my earthly love story to begin but I have been in love with Jesus Christ and my love story with Him continues to deepen and blossom in ways that are beyond anything I could have expected.
I know that the Lord is refining me and molding me for my future husband and I get closer every day to him. I am praying for my future husband. The Holy Spirit is preparing me spiritually, physically and mentality to be a Godly wife-a woman after the Lord’s own heart and a crown upon my husband’s head.
2.
How did it start?
For the last five years the Lord has been “wooing” me back to Him. Though I have always been a Christ follower, I tended to be very independent, controlling, and decisive in my own life; I only gave to God what I was comfortable with and what I felt I could still have some “idea” that I was still in control.
That began to change five years ago.
It was around the time of my father’s death in 2012 where I had the desire to get baptized and after I was baptized, I was overwhelmed with the desire to give my whole self to the Lord. I wanted to be His bride.
This put me on a path for two years of discerning the religious life. Unlike my friends and most women, I had never had the desire to marry or to be in relationship with a man.
When my friends would get married, I would be happy for them and then have a flood of relief that it wasn’t me and I was “free” to do my own thing. But in 2014, that desire to be a wife began to surface and I wanted to be the Lord’s bride. The idea of a man in that equation was not in my realm of thinking whatsoever.
Though I was at peace for the most part, about forsaking everything for a life of prayer and dedication to Christ, the one thing I couldn’t seem to understand was the adoration and love I saw in many of the nuns (religious sisters) that I spent time with (and that is what is important to note here). I didn’t have full peace. It was a missing piece of the puzzle that the Lord was going to answer on December 27, 2014.
By the time Christmas 2014 rolled around, I had chosen what I thought was the right convent for me and I got half of the paperwork and requirements completed in preparation to join the following summer. However, a couple of days after Christmas I began to feel restless. I was having a hard time sleeping and began to ask the Lord what was going on.
On the morning of the 27
th
the Lord gave me my answer: He asked me to step away from the religious life and be willing to be the bride of a man. When He said that to me, I felt His overwhelming love and His sacrifice for me on the Cross. Feeling my Lord’s love and pain, I cried for two days. All I could feel was my Lord’s heart toward me; something I had never experienced before in my life. I was numb; I literally lost my identity as the Lord began to wipe me clean of everything I liked, enjoyed, identified myself with and my own desires. This also resulted in a very loud and audible “no” to the religious life. It was as if God dropped a boulder right in front of my face and I was not to proceed.
After a month of wandering, seeking and feeling completely lost, not knowing what to do and where to go, the Lord put my foot on a plain path and placed the desire in my heart to pray for my future husband and instructed me to go to Montana.
It has been almost two years since I have been in Montana and the Lord continues to break me, refine me and has drawn me closer to Him than ever before. Though it has been very hard (having lost my job in the process and developed some physical challenges now), I can see some of what He is doing with me; conforming me to Him and renewing my mind towards my future husband.
Though I have had some detours along the way in two years, the Lord is good to always bring me back after teaching me the lesson to learn and to see what real love is through Him.
3.
What are/were the challenges?
Wow, tons of challenges. Waiting, being patient, being discerning. Not every man that shows you attention is God’s best for you. Some are sent from the evil one (have had that experience now with two men). I would also say trying to be sober-minded and not emotionally driven.
4.
What did you learn?
Wait on the Lord and trust also in Him and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4-5). This is not easy but very necessary. The Lord knows the heart of the man that is in search of you. The Lord knows all of his ways and will prepare you and him for each other. But you have to wait on the Lord if you want His best and His ultimate choice.
The most important thing I have been learning is that marriage or relationship is not really about you and the other person: it is solely about Him and His sovereign will. His perfect will. Marriage is the reflection of God’s love and relationship that He wants to have with you. Dying to each other for real, pure love is what Christ did for us and what He continues to do for us. It is about relationship with the Lord and pleasing Him to give Him glory by dying to yourself and serving your spouse. And as Christ said in Matthew 6:33: “seek the kingdom of God first and He will give you everything you need”: including a loving Godly relationship with a man/woman after the Lord’s own heart.
5.
What's your advise to other men/women currently in/searching for a relationship?
Trust in God first for His timing and His choice. Yes, this is the hardest thing to do. I am walking this path right now and might still be walking in it 5-20 years from now. But for me, I want His best. I want His will. I am head over heels in love with my Lord and I want to please Him above anyone and anything else.
Your relationship with God is the most important relationship that you will ever have on this Earth and beyond. And He loves you more than any other human being ever can. The author and creator of love wants you in good, loving relationships.
That is His will for you! We were made to give and receive love.
But if you want His best, you have to wait; give the Lord time to work on you, making you more beautiful and holy in His eyes than you can possibility imagine! And always remember: if the Lord is doing this to you because how much He loves you, just think about how He is also transforming your spouse into the right person you will need and love with all of your being.
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Thank you so much
K
for sharing! I truly enjoyed this post and Episode 2 would be even more revealing for our readers!
Remember-you can share your story as well at:
tolu@tolufalode.com
What did you learn from K's story?