12 KEY LESSONS I LEARNED IN 2016

Hey Everyone! My last post for 2016 will be to share the 12 Key Lessons I Learned in 2016. My aim here is to just share and inspire you all to keep the faith and keep pushing-if you would love to here more, please leave your e-mail below or DM me.

1.    Don’t Judge-You Don’t Know Somebody Else’s Story: Its important to listen to another person’s point of view because we don’t all view life from the same perspective. I learned people’s stories are not written on their faces-so learn not to judge a book by its cover-literally.

2.    Man plans-God Laughs: This has to be my most valuable lesson this year. God’s timing is perfect and although man plans in His heart God establishes His steps (Prov. 16:9)-if God has not established those steps yet concerning whatever desire you may have, I have learned it is not in a direction that is in His will at that point in time.

3.    Live In the Moment: This was my toughest lesson because I’m a planner by nature-I obsess over little details and always think ahead. This year, the LORD really had to pull me into present moments to remind me to bask in what has been done now that I had been working towards then.

4.    Appreciate What You Have: I’ve learned and am learning that the true joys in life come from the little things-sharing a laughter with friends, showing appreciation to loved ones, enjoying the experiences you share with those that matter. I learned and am learning to place more value in these moments because you never know what tomorrow may bring.

5.    Always Show Kindness Even When It is Not Reciprocated: This was another tough lesson but its true. In those private moments where people really get under your skin you have to learn to take the high road. You don’t know people’s struggles and you don’t have to react to their pain. Learn to let go and push past their drama to allow yourself to grow through the process by not responding to their vitriol.

6.    Your Reputation Speaks Louder Than Your Words Ever Will: I learned this just by observing those around me. I noticed that how people treat you when you are in the room is hardly a reflection of what they say when you are not around. You have to learn to value people that work with you, around you and for you-you have to learn to listen to them-because this is where you reputation makes a mark that your words would never be able to overshadow.

7.    Fear Is Usually A Sign That Your Faith Wants To Move: Some of you know I took the New York Bar Exam this year-and that was the single scariest decision and test I made this year because I knew God called me to do it-I also knew He did not tell me in advance to do it because He knew I wouldn’t have done it lol but He presented the opportunity at a time when I could not run from it-and I had to read and study and trust in faith although I was very afraid. And as always He came through-this really taught me that where there is a fear, faith wants to move and when you allow faith to move instead of fear, you grow stronger into the person God has called you to be.

8.    Walking by Faith Requires A Lot More Vision Than Walking By Sight: I also learned this year that walking by faith means you really cannot walk by sight. I learned that walking by faith means you may not know where you will be in a week/a month/a couple of years but that’s the beauty of the journey of learning to trust in Him and not your own understanding (Prov. 3:5) but I also learned that faith requires more vision and it requires you look from a different direction-through His eyes and not the vision of the world. I learned this is not as easy as it sounds and the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak (Matt. 26:41) and will fight this decision repeatedly.


9.    Serve…Serve And Serve Some More: This year I learned to serve as unto the LORD-period. I learned that my work/relationships/profession should be done as unto God and this means even if I am dissatisfied or feel unappreciated I keep pushing through it all because I work for an audience of One. I do not need anyone’s validation to know my work is appreciated as I work unto Him (John 3:30). And this really repositioned my heart and my perspective on ambitions and success.

10. You Never Know Where The Next Opportunity Will Come From: God really took me by the hand this year to teach me to trust Him even when I could not see the open doors. I learned in Him opportunities literally manifest through the process of walking with Him. This was a key lesson for me because I like to plan ahead but this year, I was led to lean on His timing not mine and this meant I had to learn to let go and trust Him.

11. Prayer Is The Key: I’ll share a secret: I never knew how powerful prayer was as I do now. I am learning there is true power in prayer and that it is very effective (James 5:16). I also learned that prayer calms the soul and sometimes repositions your desires. But interestingly, I learned prayer is the key to the door you may not expect it to open i.e. where you desire an immediate answer, it may open the door for patience to flow instead.

12. Be Vigilant With Your Values: I learned that the more you grow in Christ, the more your values will be tested-this year the LORD refined my love for Him through testing my values and my vision.


These are some lessons I learned this year-I will be sharing some more personal and profound messages with my subscribers-if interested leave your e-mail below or send it to me at tolu@tolufalode.com-Happy New Year in advance guys!

God Bless!

Tolu.

5 QUESTIONS TO ASK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP BEFORE 2017

1.    Am I Happy? This may seem like a simple question but I really want you to think about this: does this person make you constantly happy in their presence and even more so in their absence? This is the secret to understanding if this relationship is feeding your growth instead of starving your progress. If you find you are simply happy in their presence but uncertain in their absence this means they are not feeding your growth. This means the relationship is temporary because if it had permanent roots you should feel sustained both in and out of their presence. Also, if you find even in their presence you are not happy-that is a sure sign the relationship is not heading towards a progressive direction.

2.    Am I Facing the Future or Looking At The Past? If you are looking behind at your relationship this most likely is because he/she does not treat you the same way they did at the initial stages meaning there has been a significant shift in how you both interact with one another. It is important to face this truth to be able to confront yourself and your partner on how your relationship can progress instead of regress.

3.    Do I Feel Peace? Are you consistently uncertain? Are you always stressed about your partner’s actions/thoughts/words-then it is clear confusion is present not peace and where confusion resides you would not be able to communicate with one another.

4.    Can I Build A Family With Him/Her? This is an important question: look at your partner-do they embody traits you would like to see reflected in your children? Do they show signs of responsibility that would make them a great father/mother? The reason you need to ask yourself this question is if you cannot see yourself having a family with them then it means the relationship already has an expiration date.

5.    Do We Grow Together?  
    You and your partner should be able to grow through the relationship together instead of growing apart. If you find you are growing apart i.e. constantly fighting, repetitive disagreements, different perspectives on key issues then you really need to examine your emotional bank account-in other words, do they add to your state of emotional health or do they take from it? 
     A relationship rooted for the long haul will constantly enable you to grow emotionally but a relationship that will hurt your progress will take more than is given.


 Tip: Ask yourselves these 5 questions initially-in other words do you fulfill the same needs for your partner? This will enable you to look at both sides objectively and see where you both can help one another to move forward for your best interests.
Join our mailing list: tolu@tolufalode.com for more tools to help you have a healthy outlook on relationships, destiny and faith.

Read:
4 Steps to Walk Out of A Dysfunctional Relationship

3 Simple Steps to Learn About Your Partner

6 Steps to Build A Powerful Relationship


TO MY UNCLE, MY GUARDIAN, MY FRIEND

I hardly talk about Brother Shuaib. We always called him brother although he was more of a father. He was my uncle-he was family.
 He was my first instinct for the law-the first voice that built my temperament into the woman I have become.

He was the silence behind each storm-the hand that led me quietly through my childhood dreams-he was the voice that whispered courage when faced with fear, the arm that held me steady when I shook with uncertainty. That was Brother Shuaib.
He was more than my uncle, he was a friend, he was a father that watched my brother and I closely till the very end.


He taught me the art of reading in silence, he taught me how to speak when I felt I had no voice-how to face a crowd when I was unsure-he was always there. Brother Shuaib would whisper confidence silently into my ears-and remind me who I was when I could not even grasp the concept of success. He explained each syllable surrounding the word carefully so I could understand what I did not know yet.

I miss him. It has been over ten years since he passed but Toba and I loved him very much-incredibly so-his death changed our lives. Toba grasped unto the music he loved-a talent he shared with our uncle who is now no more-I held unto the law-letters that left a footprint trailed with his words in the dust.

The law reminds me of Brother Shuaib-through the letters I see aspects of life he had not had a chance to discuss with me yet. Brother Shuaib was a determined, young soulful man-always blaring music within the ears of those who could hear.


A form filled with laughter and never much tears. He was kind-always helping when others struggled to care. He was protective of those he loved-always worried about their thoughts and helped them to confront the words before they formed a storm.

Brother Shuaib and I had a very complicated relationship-I looked for him to give me reassurance whenever I faced people’s stares-people’s judgments that tried to intimidate me in my youngest years-he was always there-like a fierce lion he would come forth and speak when others tried to bring out my fears. He would defend me when I was not sure how to defend myself yet. He taught me the art of self-confidence by confronting my fears. I remember now smiling back on those years-those years where he held the lamp in the darkness so I could read for the next test. He pushed me and challenged me to be my best. He never encouraged doubt within his ears-he would always remind me I could do better than the last time I had confronted my fears. He was there to praise me when I had reached a milestone aided by his strength. He never encouraged me to fear-he taught me to always believe in what I could only see. He showed me how to treasure my dreams.

He would lead me into the depths of my heart to help me find my own source of strength. A lot of the confidence I now share-came from those years. A lot of the depth I now know came from his wisdom whispered and planted like a seed in those moments.


Brother Shuaib impacted my life-he touched Toba’s as well. His death left a permanent mark that mapped out each of the proceeding years. It led Toba into music-a talent he shared. He led me into law-through his studies to become a man that fought for what was right-a man that proved he cared. And now looking back on all those years, young and angry as he forced me once more to read for another test-that broad smile that broke into pride when he heard me reciting on the stage as I struggled to remember my lines, his ready laughter that guided my fears-I am grateful he was a father and a friend.

 I am grateful he cared. I decided to talk about Brother Shuaib because he is a key part of how my pain has been translated into purpose. He taught me the importance of life through his death-he taught me how to remain always and forever prepared. He showed me how to cherish moments I now hold more closely since my brother’s death.  


Brother Shuaib was a guardian angel sent to teach me to fight my fears in my earliest years. He was a force that pushed away my fears and in the process led me into the initial stages of purpose birthed through the pain of facing death. He taught me how to face my tears-the first bruise to my heart came from his death.

 It scarred Toba and I deeply but we gave each other strength-and now looking back I am grateful for those years-where Toba and I would sing with Brother Shuaib in the car as we prepared for another school year. His voice thundering towards us from down the stairs-his grunt of approval or disapproval whichever appeared first because we were very mischievous in those years. I look back and I am grateful for each moment we shared.


He was my guardian angel in the initial stages of my years-and it makes me smile knowing Toba and he have many more moments they can now share. It gives me comfort to know that Toba has family there.

Brother Shuaib always protected us both when we barely understood a lot in life-he even protected us through his death. And today, I want to acknowledge the role this man played in my life on the anniversary of his death-I love you Brother Shuaib-I will never forget-I am grateful for the moments we shared, I remain fully aware of all you taught me in those years-I will always remember…you were the first person that taught me how to believe in my dreams and chase down my fears.